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Episode 3: What Lurks in a Space Vagina
Sadow raises his brow as the girl before him sits at a table adorned with various glasses of tea and bagels. Sad: Uhhh... What's with the- Nyan: Bagels? You got a problem with 'em? (Gives a threatening glare) Sad: No. It's just... where am I? Nyan: You're in 4chan, realm of Chaos and Anarchy. And the Waffle Empire. But Bagels are striking back and for good reason! Sad: ...Where's the exit? Nyan: Thats what she said. Sad: (Sighs) Meanwhile, back in Earth Xan: YOU'RE BUYING ME ANOTHER GAYDAR YOU BUTT-MONKEY! Kuro: I shall do no such thing. Tsuki: YOU'RE BUYING ME A NEW CAR YOU CLUMSY DUMBASS!! Fah: Aren't you the one who threw me out a window to begin with? Armed: I have no idea where I am but in my day, people didn't argue about Gaydars or Cars. They argued about- Xan and Tsuki: STAY OUT OF IT! Wah: (Monotone voice) Where did those other guys go? Back in the separate Dimension Psyko: Ugh... where are we? Nano: Like, no idea but I'm creeped out... (They see a metal door marked /b/ and, as Psyko opens it, he is pulled in by a pair of tentacles and the door slams shut) Nano: Like, Psyko! (Tries to open the door with no success. In a matter of seconds, it opens by inself and throws out a horrified Psyko) Like, happened?! Psyko: They stuck my scythe in my ass... with the wrong end... Nano: Oh get over it. I don't get depressed when things are jammed into MY ass! Psyko: You just don't understand... It was my scythe! (Starts crying) Meanwhile, back at /a/ Fumi and Nyan: (Sit casually while sipping cups of hot cocoa and listening to Sadow's story on what happened before he was mysteriously teleported) Sad: And that's my story. Fumi: I asked for a pony and I get this? Nyan: We'll help you get back to your own realm. But we'll need to seek out the town of /b/. Sad: /b/? What is... /b/? Fumi: /b/ is the anchorhead of all business here in 4chan. And it is also an entertainment center for all of our world's most freaky sociopaths. It would be best to watch your back while we're there. Sad: Great. Sounds similar to where I was originally. After a few minutes of walking, they reach a metal door marked /b/. Fumi cautiously opens it and, as soon as the tentacles appear, slicing them all to pieces with a big-ass Keyblade. Fumi: Kingdom Hearts, bitch! Sad: I love that ga- Nyan: Quiet, pinky, adults are talking! Sad: (Silences.) They enter cautiously and look around, eventually spotting a far away city. Fumi: /b/'s Thread Space. You'll never find a greater hive of scum and villainy. Be careful, or your ass will be penetrated by far worse than tentacles. Sad: Like... what? Fumi: Oh, I dunno... Scythes maybe? Just a guess. Nyan: Don't be silly, Fumi. Who gets fucked in the ass by a scythe? They all laugh as they tread along. Meanwhile, back in Earth Sei: (Thinks to himself "I am far too cool to be hangin' around the likes of those nerds. But why do I smell cheap perfume...?" He turns and sees Aha following close behind) Aha: Hi. Sei: How long were you following me?! Aha: A good hour or two. You were too busy reflecting your own image to notice. Sei: Go home, pinky, before my awsomeness suffocates you to death! ...Forever! Aha: I have no home. Sei: THEN FIND ONE! (Bunts him off in the opposite direction. He turns around to see Aha in front of him again) Aha: Hi. Sei: You are more annoying than Excel Excel's voice! Excel Excel: (Pops out from nowhere) HiI'mExcelExcel!I'mhereondirectordersfromIlPalazzo-samatobeginourgrandmissiontotakeoverthe- (Is stabbed by Sei) Sei: SHUT THE FUCK UP! Aha: (Backs away slowly) In a /b/ thread (Fumi, Nyan, and Sadow tread into a local Cantina that plays the Star Wars Cantina song while deformed individuals drink assortments of alcohol, smoke from pipe-like bongs, and have strippers dancing on their laps) Fumi: Welcome home. Nyan: (Cringes in disgust at the sight) Sad: (Pulls out Cellphone with a Sephiroth sticker on it and takes a picture) Fat Bartender: Hey! No pictures! Sad: (Hides phone and looks at audience) Teehee, Sephy-fan. Fumi: Enough of your fanboyetry, Sadow. We have to talk to the owner of this place. (Sits at bar) Where is Shingi? Fat Bartender: What she's usually doing. Organizing her Naruto Fanon into files. Fumi: Can we see her? Fat Bartender: Sure but don't think you can disturb her filing and not live to tell about it. Fumi: I'm well aware. Thanks. (Leads them into Shingi's office in the back, where she is assorting different files into a large cabinet) Uhhh... Shingi? Shingi: (Holds up a finger for silence as she slides a file carefully into a cabinet and shuts it) Who are you? Fumi: I am Fuminori. This is NyanNyanxo and Sadowyatsumaru. We need to get Sadow out of 4chan and back to whatever crappy world he is from. Sad: Hey! ...Well, okay, you have a point there. Fumi: Can you help us? Shingi: Well I would but as you can see I am very busy with my fanfiction. Can this not wait? Fumi: Girl, Naruto has gone down the drain since Sasuke went insane. And that was an excellent rhyme (Writes it down on a little notepad) now you can either accept this or get lost in the Weabooness. Shingi: Just because Naruto has gone down the drain doesn't mean my fanfic has! Guards, kick their asses! And so a couple of large guards entered the room, ready to beat their asses like drums but were not expecting Nyan to pull out a pair of head-sized bagels and spin them on her fingers. She tossed two like frizbeys toward the guards and, before they knew it, they were swiftly beheaded. The bloody-bagels returned to Nyan and she munched on them delightfully as Sadow and Shingi stood in shock, Fumi smirking at her success. Meanwhile, in the deep reaches of /a/ Psyko: This bones, why are we even here to begin with?! Why don't we just tell Echo he died in action?! Nano: Like, no way! Like, Sadow has kids, man! Psyko: And? Suddenly, appearing before them was a man with man with long, white hair and brown eyes, looking retardedly similar to Seireitou. Seireitou Hyuga: Greetings. I... am... Seireitou Hyuga. Who... are... you? Psyko: Why are you talking like William Shatner...? Seireitou Hyuga: Seireitou... Hyuga says don't... change the... fucking question, asshole... Psyko: What was that?! Seireitou Hyuga: Are... you... going to cry, Nincom.... poop? Nano: Like, I love Star Trek! Like, oh and I am Nano and this is Psyko. Like, he was fucked in the ass by a scythe earlier so try not to hurt his feelings too much. Seireitou Hyuga: Sheesh... That is... some fucked up.. shit...! Psyko: I hate all of you...